That moment when life starts to make sense
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.” - Steve Jobs
I look back on all of my adventures and wonder “why didn’t you document everything you did?” Or when I lost my job and life was super uncertain…I mean I’d probably be a YouTube sensation by now.
I will never know.
And now I realize I didn’t have the capacity to put myself outside of the present moment during my travels to act. I wasn’t focused on documenting it because I was focused on living it. I came across this quote from Steve Jobs and it just made me think of all the moments I could finally make sense of why this or that happened the way it did.
I was having a conversation with a new friend and he explained why he never left St. Louis. He said, “I never felt like anything was wrong, I really enjoyed being here.” And that’s when it hit me. That moment — it all made sense.
My life looked vastly different 8 years ago. I worked for my mom’s salon, open to close, 6 days a week. And hated every second of it. I don't mean it in an ungrateful way either, I had been working there since I was 14 years old. At that point, I was coming up on 12 years! And working for family isn’t the easiest. If you know, you know.
Around the same time, Instagram had come out. It was just photos and I was obsessed #hashtageverything and then eventually, I found Rachel Brathen @yoga_girl — who is this person that does yoga in Aruba and talks about life in such a beautiful way!? FOLLOW.
She posted a photo of “The Power of Now” and said very simply, “this is my bible” or something along those lines. I knew at that moment, I had to get this book! I got it and read it on my first international trip. There are many details looking back, like how my friend, Colin invited me to Norway and said he would pay for my flight with his airline miles because he had so many! I remember thinking he was joking and I’d ask him again when he sobered up…well, he was serious! This was a catalyst moment.
On the trip, I read the Power of Now and it altered the way I thought about everything and changed my life completely. And when I say that, I became a different person. I was fully present. It’s like I had been asleep and all of a sudden I was wide awake. The worry and the anxiety, felt like they had left my body or dissipated in some way. Maybe, because I stopped thinking about it. And this was life as I knew it. The beginning of the end.
I wouldn’t have seen any of that looking forward. I could only see that now. It made me appreciate my mom a lot more and not hold any resentment towards her for “making” me work at the salon. If I didn’t, I might not have left.
Everything is really connected in some way and there are so many stories that are similar to this. Don’t let them go unnoticed, bring light to them. Be willing to talk about them so you can see how far you’ve come.
